Valentine’s Day is under attack for being a Hallmark Holiday!   So orchestrated as to being stuffy, scheduled, and, dare I say “forced?”

Charlotte Bronte (Author of “Jane Eyre” and “The Professor”) had it right in declaring of our busy, structured and fast paced world that, “life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot, will not match the expectation.”

Speaking of expectations; if you have them; speak of them.  Share them and give them a chance to be real, and be met, or, be quiet when they are not.  Speak now or forever hold your peace!

A co-worker told me she was upset with her husband this Valentine’s Day.  He bought, snuck into the house, installed and then put a big red bow on a brand new STAINLESS STEEL DISHWASHER!  SURPRISE!

I’m sure it was a magical moment for them both!

Despite her saying over and over again how happy she was last year that he simply gave her a cheap box of chocolate and a hand-written invitation to dinner he FAILED TO MEET HER EXPECTATION that he do it again this year!

First, let me explain men. 

Women, I know men, men are friends of mine; and women; you are not men!

You need to hear this.  Men are simple creatures who basically try to do what they are told!  So long as they are told.  No innuendo; no subtle hints; no implied sentiments.  TELL THEM! 

This is what you say; “last year was the best Valentine’s Day ever!  I want to do the same thing this year.  Take me to ___FILL IN THE BLANK___ for Dinner!”   And you MIGHT get it!

Second, last year your husband forgot Valentine’s Day!

At 3 p.m. on V-Day he realized he had forgotten.  He went to the store next to his office and bought the first thing that said, “Valentine’s Day”; then he contacted his golf-buddy and called in a favor having him pull strings for a last minute dinner reservation.  On the way home he scribbled the “Be My Valentine” note.

Your reaction:  “Finally!  A true gesture of love from my husband!” – but you didn’t say it!

His reaction:  “Survived another year!” –and he felt guilty about it.
Result:  For an entire year he thought you knew he forgot and made such a big fuss in an effort to let him off the hook for his obvious failure and he began to concoct THE GREATEST SURPRISE EVER!  AND, he listened to your expressed EXPECTATIONS. 

Over the past several months you have been complaining about your dishwasher saying you wanted a new one right?

When men construct a plan they listen to words, not innuendo.  Share your expectations!

Remember Charlotte Bronte and her commentary on our busy, “constructed” and fast paced world?  Charlotte passed away in 1855…

If we do not learn from history we are destined to repeat it!  If you want a repeat of a Valentine’s Day in History… ASK FOR IT!